Are Third-Party Tarot Readings Ethical?

The ethics of third-party readings are widely discussed across the tarot world and to many have become an ethical red line. Refusing to do readings for other people with tarot is a part of the code of ethics of many readers and organizations, and there are even some of then that make its refusal a requirement to adhere to an ethical practice of tarot. 

The reasons that sustain the refusal of third-party readings come from different angles. One, to make the practice of tarot empowering and focused on the querent’s personal growth and their own actions, which at the end of the day, are the only ones that can be controlled. The second angle has to do with consent, and the ethics around consulting about someone who has not agreed to being put under the scrutiny of the cards (or the divination method of choice). 

And, while I can see why those angles are reasonable, I still differ in my personal ethics of tarot, and I mean to elaborate on why in the next few paragraphs. 

Oracle of Victorian Symbols and Gothic Tales

I have thought long and deep about this subject, and there was a time in which I refused third-party readings (for others, because I wanted to ride the public high-horse, while doing third-party readings for myself, hypocritical much!). The issue is that the refusal didn’t come from a personal conviction. It came from a desire to be “clean”, ethical and “not one of those fortune tellers” (all of which is enough content for another post by itself). 

Along with a refusal to do third-party readings came other red lines that I would be happy to discuss at length in separate blogs: health, legal, financial, divorce and gasp prediction. 

And the worst was that I was doing it to satisfy the gallery. 

At first, I felt hypocritical. But then the subject became larger… If the list of things I don’t do readings on is so long… What do I actually read about? And, am I playing shrink from a high-horse and telling people that their concerns are not valid? 

Here's the subject of third-party reading ethics as I see it:

We are responsible for ourselves, our actions are the only ones that are in our hands to control, and pondering about our own role in different situations is often more practical than fixating on other people. 

All that is fine and dandy, and still… We don’t live in a vacuum. We are social animals, we are affected by the actions of other people whether we like it or not (and many times we don’t), and people make decisions that affect us that we don’t willingly consent to either, and we have to deal with as best as we can. 

So, from that perspective, why shouldn’t we inquire about those things? And what is so wrong about wanting to delve into situations in which other people are interwoven that directly affect our lives? 

But, where's the line when reading about other people?

To me, it’s not a hard and fast rule, but more of a decision made on a case by case basis. I can agree that whether your neighbour is sleeping with their third cousin once-removed is none of your business (unless their third cousin once-removed happens to be your partner!), or that whether your ex from ten years ago who hasn’t talked to you in nine years and a half is happy in their marriage is hardly your thing to know. It’s not your sphere, it doesn’t have an effect on your life as you know it, and it’s information that’s prying and that is not going to shape your reality in any way. 

But there are many other issues that are very much our business. Whether your manager is thinking about making a subpar performance review or a brilliant one directly affects the bread on your table. Whether your new Tinder boo is planning on giving things a fair shot or is only planning to become your next trauma directly affects your emotional state. And, as such, I believe those are fair game. 

Surely, asking from a perspective of what can you do, how can you best manage, or even how can you avoid is going to give you proactive answers that you have control over. But the truth is that on many occasions what we can do about other people’s decisions that affect our lives is not much at all until it’s done, and what’s left is handling the situation, and that, sometimes, forewarned is forearmed.